I knew the fraggin' storm was coming when I woke up this morning.
This isn't my first rodeo but it was different for some reason.
It was nothing I could put my finger on and it lingered just below the surface of consciousness.
I brushed off the weird feeling and rolled out of bed, drank some coffee and took a shower. It wasn't until halfway through my shower when CajunGuy came into the bathroom to tell me that he wanted to buy a generator that I started to get concerned.
Growing up we may have evacuated for a hurricane twice, including Katrina.
Given the choice, my Mom would ride out the Apocalypse. Seriously.
For me, hurricanes aren't a time to panic. You just prepare and let God handle the rest.
Yet a wave of panic rolled in my brain when CajunGuy wanted to buy a generator. Suddenly I was new to this hurricane crap and all sensibility drained from my head. I fought him a little (OK, a lot) about the generator and even he asked me why I was digging my heels in.
And let me tell you: this was no everyday purchase. Sure, I love to save a buck but that just isn't possible when, during a hurricane, demand goes up and supply goes down. You pay what they ask and just deal with it. (I hate that part!)
So off to Lowe's we went to buy a generator. As soon as we got to the checkout I started calculating all the other things we could have bought with the money I was about to spend. I was a mess on the inside but couldn't figure out why.
After the most gut-wrenching debit card swipe of my life, I drove to the bank to get cash in case we had to evacuate. As I wrote out the check in the bank lobby it was as if that feeling I'd had all day jumped out from around a corner in my brain.
Buying that generator meant that now I was riding out a storm, away from the protection that I have known my whole life. I was making the decision to stay or go. I was in charge of making sure my family was taken care of. I had to provide.
I was moved up the responsibility line. And it terrified me.
Until I realized that I was handling it well. Because of our diligence in saving money, CajunGuy and I were in a position that we could provide for each other. We were able to get what we need to keep us going and still be OK in the long run.
I think that newly discovered confidence was worth the price of the generator -- and all of the anxiety.
Note: for those of you who are new to the hurricane experience, I suggest looking at this handy guide if for nothing else but a few laughs.