Saturday, January 5, 2013

Life as a Leftie

Let me just summarize it in one word for you: interesting.

Ever thought about how hard it is to be a leftie in a world made for righties?
It's maddening!

This stuff should come with a warning label for lefties! 

WARNING: May cause Lefties to become contortionists just to be able to use the writing surface. Please seek the advice of a licensed chiropractor after every use.
WARNING: May cause Lefties to acquire an ink smudge on their left hand. This is normal and should not be considered a defect in manufacturing.

WARNING: May cause all knitted products to come out upside-down. If this persists or becomes bothersome, seek the advice of the non-existent knitting guide for Lefties.
WARNING: May cause blisters on the thumbs of Lefties. Large cutting projects may be delayed.

You can just about imagine what school was like for me!
I'm really shocked that my spine is relatively straight, I didn't get ink poisoning and I don't have scars from scissor blisters.

Wednesday, January 2, 2013


(Courtesy of
Every December 31, just as the calendar threatens to turn to the next year I make my resolutions. They're usually very solid, reasonable weight loss and/or life-changing resolutions that I have thoroughly researched and planned (yes, I'm a nerd. You haven't caught on yet?).

But somehow they always end up like this:

January 1: "I'm so committed! This is great! I'll be down quite a few pounds by Summer!"

January 8, 9am: "Oooh! Look! I lost 4 pounds. Surely I deserve a little something special to reward my effort."

January 8, 10am: (At local bakery) "Yes, I'd like to get a cupcake please. And one of those cookies, you know, for {later}."

January 9: (On scale) "Craaaaaap! Oh well, there's always next year." 

So I'm skipping the guilt-ridden resolutions and sticking to simpler ones that may not make me drop a bazillion pounds by Summer, but will make me more interesting by then. 

I know, "Why paint the peacock?", right? 

I kid. But honestly, I have some fine-tuning to do and this is how I plan to do it:

  1. Exercise 30 minutes a day, 3 times a week.
  2. Read one new book a month.
Simple, right? That's the idea. I may not be the thinnest, most well-read person by the time Summer rolls around, but I will be better off than where I am now.

And isn't that the ultimate goal in life?
Well, that and fat-free, sugar-free, calorie-free cookies.