Wednesday, October 31, 2012


Most people have some guilty habit in their life.

Some smoke, some drink, some gamble and some do all 3.

I'm asthmatic, so I can't smoke.
I'm allergic (thanks asthma!) to most wines, so I can't drink.
And Lord knows I can't afford to gamble, so I don't.

I do, however, love Coke Zero and gummy candy.
So I dug in my coin jar, pulled out $3.50 and drove to Walgreens.
I paid in quarters while everyone watched and snickered.

Laugh if you must.
I have absolutely no shame about it.
But I do have a Coke Zero and gummy candy.

Apparently sanity comes in a 20 oz. bottle.

Saturday, October 20, 2012


Fall has started in CajunCountry! Wonder why God only created 4 seasons?

I've been the curious sort my whole life.
I wonder about everything around me and am amazed by it all.

I think my teachers feared having me in their class because they just knew I wasn't interested in hearing the simple answer to something.
It always delayed any sort of recess or break we could have in class because the teacher spent the next 5-10 minutes trying to get me to just accept what they were saying just because they were saying it. 

I got a lot of evil stares from classmates. And if our limited vocabulary skills had been more developed I am sure those stares would have instead been strings of well-crafted four letter insults.

But I am not deterred. Although no one has been able to satisfactorily answer the questions I have, I've made a list of questions that I want to be buried with just in case God allows a Question and Answer period when I see Him.

Just joking about the list being buried with me. Maybe.

Without further ado, here are my questions in no particular order.
Unless they need to be in a certain order.
Oh, someone please stop my need to put things in order!

  1. If men were created to be distinctly different from women, then what's up with men having nipples, God? I know there is the whole "men used to breastfeed" theory but I don't totally buy it.
  2. Why do we have tears when we cry? What purpose do they serve? I understand that they express emotion but so does my red, scrunched up face and lamaze-style breathing when I stub my toe and am in pain, without the need for liquid to come pouring out of a part of my body. Not that I want liquid to come pouring out of a hole in my body.
  3. Why do we have just 2 hands? Why wouldn't 6 or 8 hands have been better? Seems like extra hands would fill a real need for the human race.
  4. It seems that when women get older, we tend to lose estrogen and start to become a little more manly, what with the facial hair and all. Why don't men become more feminine as they age? Seems unfair. Except for the whole menopause thing. Thank you, Lord, that I don't have to live my whole life worrying about PMS every month! Oh yeah, and my husband thanks you, too! He still has battle scars, poor man.
  5. I have tried to imagine just how long eternity is and my brain almost breaks as it approaches completing this thought. Actually, it really hurts God. Maybe that was your way of telling me not to do that again?
  6. Do you like to dance? It's a weird question, I know. But I want to know.
  7. What's your favorite color? You created all of them, after all. You must have a favorite.
  8. Why is only 11% of the population left-handed? I thought for sure it would be closer to 50%. Does being left-handed make us your favorite children? Cuz if it does, I could certainly live with that. Or die with that. Whatever.
  9. Are there cookies here in Heaven? Better yet, is there food at all? This is Heaven after all and surely you don't gain weight here, no matter how much you eat. Right?
  10. Romney or Obama?  
I hope God will sit and have coffee with me and talk to me when I get there.

Wonder if he knows I like a lot of cream in my coffee?

What would you ask God if you had the chance?

Friday, October 19, 2012

Dirt Road Lesson: The Many Faces of Grief

Grief is a weird thing.

It strikes whenever it pleases, it doesn't let you know how long it will stay and it certainly never looks the same every time, in every person.

CajunGuy and I have been walking through some grief-inducing circumstances lately and I've come to the conclusion that grief has settled in for at least a little while. I just didn't know it at first.

While I don't exactly get a formal notice before it arrives in my life, I know what other people act like when it's here:

Customer Service people start looking at me funny, as if I have 3 heads when I ask them a question. 

What's that about?! I thought I was being nice when I asked her where she left her brain this morning. Just trying to save her from going the rest of the day without it.

My husband starts looking for fangs each time I open my mouth.
All I did was point out the fact that the trash hasn't gone out in almost a week. You'd think he would be happy I reminded him. Again.

Other drivers on the road have a look of panic and terror on their faces when I'm around.

I was just educating that person about the driving laws here in America. You'd think they would appreciate the knowledge!

After a while I start to realize that the crazy stares and looks of panic in other people are my notification that grief has arrived.

Ah yes, the faces of grief in my life are other peoples' faces.
Sorry, folks. I don't think you stood a chance, did you?